Oh the holidays. They have a tendency to be filled with a heaping helping of that lovely little thing called guilt. We feel it creeping up on us when we didn’t get just the “right” gift for someone who really knocked it out of the park with a gift for us. It hits us square in the face when we don’t have enough time to spend with family and friends, and they give us a not-so-friendly reminder. It really knocks you flat when you are starting to get looks, and realize it was you that ate three four too many helpings of the cookies and candy from the break room.
When you have lost a child, the guilt that follows can swallow you whole.
You may feel a huge sense of obligation to honor your child in a meaningful way and come up with the perfect tribute.
Your living children may need their parents to be more “present” in the holidays than they are able to be.
You might find yourself filled with dread over being around anything holiday related. Worse yet, you may catch yourself starting to feel a bit of joy. When you have lost a child, any feeling of happiness can feel like a complete betrayal to the little one you miss.
It’s ok to feel guilty. It’s more than ok to be kind to yourself about the guilt that you may feel as you navigate this really difficult time. When I feel guilt, I try really hard to acknowledge it, accept it and let it go. It is much easier said than done. It’s an inevitable part of the holidays and the loss of a child. Be kind to yourselves friends.
With love,
