Thanksgiving is officially behind us and for many of us, it was a difficult day. It’s was a day that feels different than it should, and may be very different than what we had planned.
For me, Madison was due the week of Thanksgiving so it is an especially difficult holiday and week. This was my second year without her, and while my emotions were not as raw, there were still so many things I thought of and reflected on about my one year old baby girl. It still hurt a lot.
One of the biggest mistakes I think we can make as we traverse through these holidays is pretending to be “ok” when we are not. This is not a time to fake it until you make it. The pain of losing a child is magnified during the holidays. As I mentioned, this is my second season and it still hurts. A lot. I imagine it will every year going forward as I would envision who she would be and what she would be like.
This also does not serve our families and friends very well either as they try to help and support us through this time. By pretending that things are going ok for us, they may say, do, or suggest things that may come across as insensitive since they don’t understand our true emotional state. When they understand our current feelings a bit better, they can support and love us more carefully.
Your task for today, and this entire season is to feel how you feel, and express and share those emotions freely. If you are feeling sad, bitter, angry, happy, or any other of the range of emotions that hit those of us who have lost a child, own that. Do not apologize for it. You are entitled to feel whatever you feel, and it is ok not to be ok.