I have been haunted since the day I lost you with this question. I have heard stories about how people felt something inside of them shift when someone they loved passed away. When they think back, they can recall a feeling around or at the exact time it happened. My Mom had an experience with a family clock that she has that stopped the minute both her Mom and Dad passed away. This clock literally stopped two separate times at the time of their death.
I’ve got nothing…..
I had no idea that you were gone. Was I concerned that day that your movement was so decreased? Absolutely. Was I in a panic that something was wrong with you? Not at all. I felt confident that you were having a quiet day, that you were resting or out of room. I had an experience when I was pregnant with Reeves where he was very slow to move and once your Daddy got home and talked to him, he woke up and started moving again. We tried that. And even though it didn’t rouse you I still didn’t feel like you were gone.
My heart breaks to think you passed away inside my body and I had no idea. How can that be? I am your mother. I am supposed to know these things. Why didn’t I have a feeling or fear? How could I be so cavalier to think that you were sleeping?
How did I not know you were gone?
