Thirty Four Weeks. This is as far as I have ever made it in any pregnancy.
I had my son Reeves at 34 weeks in July of 2012 after my water spontaneously broke….as we were walking out the door to our maternity photo shoot. My daughter Madison was born asleep at 34 weeks. To say I have had this week on my mind this entire pregnancy would be an understatement.
My plan was to enter the week with as little anxiety as possible, and maybe even a little bit of celebration as we really never knew if we would make it this far. On the heels of the Clemson victory on Monday, it felt appropriate to have even more to celebrate.
But then we were delivered a curve ball…
We were told a couple of weeks ago that my amniotic fluid level was on the high side, not enough to cause concern but they were going to keep a close eye on it. After this week’s ultrasound, they became concerned.
The good news is that Barrett is just fine. He is growing and handsome and passing his biophysical profiles with flying colors. We also did two rounds of steroids this week so that if he does come early, his lungs will stand a much better chance of being able to breathe room air so he avoids any extra intervention or a stay in the NICU.
The flip side of course is this has got his mom and dad stressed out. Every time I wince, Jeff jumps. Every time Barrett makes a big movement, I think that this is it.
I spent a lot of time on Thursday feeling pretty sorry for myself about it all. I don’t understand why I can’t just be worried about swollen ankles and backaches at this point. Why can’t I have a “normal” pregnancy?
Fortunately, after a good long chat with myself, I realized something. I have to be grateful for every single day I have that I am still pregnant with Barrett. I wasn’t given that gift with Madison. It’s also the right thing for him because every day he is still inside instead of outside, is another day that he can grow and develop and get ready for this crazy world we live in.
The fear is still real and the anxiety is significant. Those close to me will have to forgive me if I lay very low these next few weeks as that has helped more than anything to keep me calm and focused.
If you are inclined to, we would very much appreciate your prayers, light and good vibes as we move through the days ahead. We ask that Barrett continue to grow and be healthy, and that the doctors who are providing such amazing care for us continue to guide us on the best path possible.
With love,
